一个单纯的爱，

也许是存在的..

但是爱一个人，

会是很复杂..

爱一个人，

不必要一起一辈子，

有时候,

选择放手，

为了对方的幸福，

或许是对的...

~law of exchange~

if only..

the knowledge of alchemy exist..

i wan an exchange.. i wan her to give up on me..

what should i exchange for?

i need something with same value or more...

..still thinking...

-------------------------

i exchange my happiness for my future last year..

seems like is in effect?

....more n more heartbreak

shit. i cant believe she say something like tat. try to jump juz to get my love? usin death to force me?? den let her parents, family n frens blame me!!?? wan revenge?? No more. tis is the end. it breaks my heart even more. dun even hope i will ever love u again. i will let her realised, no matter how long she wait, even if she say sorry, i dun care. love doesnt mix with revenge. n tis is only one-sided love.

------------------

44 days left...

DAMN PISSED

.....now WHAT!? u wanna noe everything i do!? it's my stuff. i like the way it is. what i do is up to me. it didnt even hav anything to do with u. SO? even 1 tiny stuff of mine oso u wanna control. reli reli reli reli pissed me off. wad the hell u wan to put ur pic in my phone. i dun wan anything of urs inside. im going to delete it anyway.

ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I NEED A PLACE TO STUDY~!!!!!!

pissed

everytime i set my schedule for nite sure come n disturb me. !@#$% i've told u not to come. u come at ur own risk. i nvr noe u come here also. askin my frens for help, now complaining on facebook saying im angry bout wad wad wad. i juz dun care anything bout u. its not my problem anyways. i've my own things to do. dun keep giv reasons for ur own needs. u should noe, but instead u doin the opposite stuff. argh. damn mad.

---------------------------

47 days left.

...listening to the same piece every night.. sad,soothing melody..

i juz love this music. it seems like its telling everything that i couldnt express in words...

----------

only 1 mth left till acca exam...

...

doesnt feel of goin home.. reli hope i can move house right away.. ugh dammit. i juz dun wan to c her. everytime sure giv some reason to come. RAWR~!!!!!!

~little free space~

....finally, a little free space for my own ranting..

wad the hell.. i notice her goin around adding my frens she didnt even noe. wad the heck is she tryin to do!!?? tryin let other notice she's close wif me!?? or findin help from my own frens to make me change my decision? !@#$ % gnd. i still cant forget he din even tell me n cheat me for my address (dun noe if 'cheat' is the correct word to use), talk about my OWN FREN. i dun wan my whole frens being influence by her thinkin tat im the bad 1. pls.. dun use tis kind of method.. it oni end up being me uneasy to face them... now i edy feel some hate towards the 2 of them even though i dun wan to... not reli hate.. juz tat i dun feel like seeing them.

im not backing up wif wad i decide. i edy cut off all my emotions. no more turning back, i dun care wad happen. pls giv up...

~Moving~

actually oni changing the address. i dun wan her read this anymore.

-------------------

i've decided long ago. i reli wont change my decision. im ending this relationship. it's better for u, but u will nvr realise it juz because of the way u are. im keeping this blog to myself, and only to people i reli trust. not even to my best fren if i dun feel he/she trustable.

---

blog still need some editing. but goin to sleep now. too tired ><

FB Leo horoscope 26Aug'09

"Things are taking a serious tone in your love affairs, Leo, and you will be making some serious changes in this period. Whether you are single or attached, you can expect some new beginnings on the road ahead, and you will be making some changes that are long lasting. These decisions will stem from mistakes you have learned from in the past, and will have a profound effect on all of your current relationships. This may involve a change of residence, marriage, or a break from something long term that hasn't been working for some time. During these changes you will undergo some serious self analysis and you will question the direction you are taking. You are on the right path, and your long term results are favored at this time regardless of what your final answer may be."




...my resolve.. remains..

12 full moons left to complete the cycle

to reach the 2nd anniversary of the 3rd zodiac

the mystic clover will never recover

for the will have been strengthen

by oath and by spirit

the soul will forever wanders throughout the journey

in solitude

piss off

thanks to both of u.. contributing to this much of 'events' tat makes me even more hard. i appreciate ur kindness n helpfulness. even though u're 左右为难, hiding it from me makes me pissed. it's been a month or so, im still feeling a bit pissed. i dun know wad both of u noe or wad u heard. but, knowing NOTHING is better than knowing HALF of it.

a leaf fallen from the legendary clover
given itself up
to strengthen others
wavering soul
born under the bravest and proudest constellation
plunged into darkness
longing for solitude
a spirit of unknown will
built to save the soul
from time to time
giving confidence and wisdom
unshattered resolve forever remain

start work on 16/07/2009

morning interview, gan jiong like hell... but luckily i keep my cool.. Ms xxx ask me bout hire purchase double entry, at first i got it wrong since i din noe about "h/p interest in suspense a/c". gotta check it up. then the rest i juz answered her question accordingly.. then...

i was like o_o omg!? then she look through my cert n results.. i duno if my uni results pull her view of me down or not =X i was told i will receive a call to confirm bout the employment..

later... during noon..

wait until 6.30pm, i was reli giving up.. who noes an hour later..

0_0 woot~ i was laughing all the way~ wahahahahaha~ thanks God.. reli GBM today~ wahahaha~ but i got 3 mths to confirm that i can work there.. need to improve myself n my performance in this 3 mths. >< GBM again XD

~~

accenture, failed. lol.

went for interview at an audit firm today, failed oso. tat auntie... looked at my result.. then ask bout my expected salary... wad the hell... rm1300 for a degree graduate?!? hiring cheap labor ar?? pls lar... big city. living cost high. rm1300 reli cant live. like tat i rather went back hometown work. (impossible, lols) anyway, im expecting at least rm1600 for a degree, tats the normal pay for a fresh grad in accounting. it's true we are still freshie.. but rm1300.. =.= aiming at account assistant right now. it seems a/c assistant have much more prospect than audit assistant. i nvr thought getting into even a small firm is tat hard. swt~ God... help me =.=

--------

sorry.. i still cant change my decision. mayb u're feeling alright now.. im not. im feeling uneasy. im faking everyday. i juz cant express myself. there's no better reason to explain myself.. im staying wif my decision.. sorry. reli hope u wont bother me anymore. n forget me.

Accenture

Accenture. A global management consulting, technology services and outsourcing company.
applied position for account analyst in this company. juz hope tat i can get the job. this is a nice place for me to grow. argh~!! CHOOSE ME~!!!! I WAN WORK IN ACCENTURE!!!

HIGH PERFORMANCE. DELIVERED.

why, u say? reason 2

i've something.. i know im able to look into future through my dreams, randomly, chances of it occuring, 0.00...1%. And chances of it to be true, more than 95%. i only will c around 0.5% of the future. i might even forget it when i wake up.

true or not, only i know myself. i see things that actually occur, a complete image of wad i've dream of.

enuf of this BS.

i juz know, i muz end this. im sorry.

why, u say? reason 1

i was thinking bout how i could solve this on the way to airport tat day..

later on the way from LCCT to KL, it seems like God given me an answer. i met a lady in her 50's.. the journey wasnt bored becoz of her stories.
she had 6 children. during her younger days, she was a teacher, then turn into running a family business. all her children were studying overseas. the lady n her husband need to provide a sum of around rm40k-rm50k a month. A MONTH. dun even know if we can earn tat amount in a year.
she says, as if God has blessed her, that all her children were doing well. "Thanks to God". all working overseas, each month sending small sum of money back. (USD, GBP etc etc. currency not small u noe) actually, its more than enuf for her to go travelling. right now, she's all around the places, travelling.
"you are still young.." she says. "it's still too early to be in a relationship. fulfill wad u need to do now as a child.."

i've a dream before..
in the dream,
someone asked me
"when you grow up, would you leave your parents?"
i remember wad i answer..
cleary..

"No"

it feels like an obligation to me as a child, keeping parents happy throughout their lives. they've given us much. it's obvious that we should repay them.

....

forget me...
i believe tats the best choice
i've consider all other options
for a year i've been holding myself,
hoping such thing wont happen.. but...

it's nice being wif u
but what future will bring
i dare not say..
the only thing i see
it wont bring happiness to both sides
the future is dark
not that i dun wan to believe it may change
i juz noe.. it wont happen..

juz forget me..
the pain now mayb suffering
it may leave a scar
not only in u..
if we continued on..
the pain future will bring
will be more painful than now..
the pain will subside
only time can tell..
hoped u understand..

i've should hav end this a year ago
but im too soft
forget me..
u will find a better one
thank you for everything

im sorry

past post~

May, 27
sup exam coming up. this sat, 2pm if not mistaken.. MADM... the hell.. if only i din calculate wrong, maybe i will pass,or get at least a 'D'. =X but dun think is enuf, mayb cant get exemption for ACCA. sien~ duno whyim not feeling anxious or worried that i 'might' not pass =X *touch wood* should be impossible to fail. actually, quite confident tat i will pass haha. but still, need to study. need to increase probability of passing that paper XD
---------
moving on 31st~ whee~ hope to have nice housemates..


-------------------------------------------

28/5
remembering about the days in langkawi... have a lot of fun. the sea water not as beautiful as redang. it's a bit polluted.went to pantai pasir hitam, the sand is really black. the formation of this black sand is not as said in the text book aboutthe island's legend. this sand resulted from the erosion of granite, and the sea current brought the sand to this area. we din visit the 'burnt fields' , 'mashuri's grave' and 'the seven wells' . limited time.
--------
its the 1st time that i drank a lot of red wine. dizzy, but not drunk. actually, i dun even noe wad it meant by getting drunk.4 cups of red wine, i lay straight on bed. =X
-------
the fun thing is, the bird park. visitors acctually get the chance to hold a parrots and eagles. EAGLES. whoa~ eagles are big, n heavy. i din get the chance to hav them on my arms. they din want to... argh. but the parrots, quite playful.the moment i put my arms near them, they juz climb up. positioning themselves in order to balance. quite nice ^^i juz love birds~ but looking at them being put inside a cage... kinda hurt. taking away freedom from them. poor birds~
------
oh ya. cable car, only cost rm15 per person. dun be cheated by those sellers at the counter at langkawi entrance!!

forgot to take the pics from adai =.='

no access to internet =.=

cut off.. last online on 14/5 =.=
-------------------
failed 1 sub. as expected. but unexpectedly, even 1 of the best student oso get a 'D' =.=" anyway, need to pass this paper, dun wanna stay here for another sem.
-------------------
redang/kedah/penang/langkawi trip.. too much to say. will post it when have access to internet, now online at fren's house =.=
-------------------
too much to think, too much to do... but doesnt noe wad.. argh.. feel like im wasting my time only.. (im really wasting my time now)
-------------------
my schedule for the near future:
1) 30/5 supp paper
2) 31/5 muz move house
3) back hometown either on 1 or 2 of June.
4) back PJ as early as possible. 6 or 7 i think. coz need register for acca at utar =.=
5) find job. at least need start working by mid of june or early of july.

signing off.. tata~

Bachelor of Commerce (Hons) Accounting

i've reach the end.. finished another part of chapter in my life... hopefully i wont come back for supplementary paper at the end of this month. The paper yesterday, was a hell harder than the previous semester. but still, i feel i hav a chance to pass it.. nah. forget about it. juz pray that the 1st 2 papers i scored well, and pass for the other 3 papers. ~.~
------------
decided to continue studying part time ACCA n working. havnt found a job though, but already hav 1 company in mind. feel kinda sick of doin audit/account since its not reli so "enjoyable". juz hope i can get into finance area.. i havnt forgotten of wanting to be financially free. It all starts now..
-----------
finally got the palm chair after 2 wks playing n 'tanking' for exam lol. giv it to ning. still can get another 1 though, but duno when. haha. enjoy bombing n escaping other player's tactics. kinda exciting. today might b the last day i'm able to online from this location. not sure when i'll be able to get back again, i juz cant live without internet. =x source of information, fast, accurate or not im not sure. at least better than the local papers. XD
-----------
Redang, here i come? haha. 9May2009, 6pm, gather at MZ restaurant. sure there will b someone late again. n for sure i noe who it is. hahaha. =X Pray that we have a safe n memorable trip. ^^ back from redang, gonna go north. kedah/perlis/penang/thai? not so sure lols. for sure im going holiday for a week.
-----------
i need a room for June. need move over by the end of this month. hopefully can get a room around rm250 n below. many stuffs to do after returning from trips.. will think about it during the trip. my brain gonna burst after packed with all those exams.
----------
i reli hope i wont be separated from the net that i love so much. XD
4.22am. signing off lols. but gonna wait til cabal updating finish. =X tata~

1 hour before exam..

*chicken essence*

热到。。。。

damn hot these days..

..2 more days to exam..

"罚抄"

7 days to exam...

cant concentrate at all zzz...

lol?

1st pic created using photoshop cs3. lol~

added to silvericejournals background for the reason of being "too plain"

~.~

人要自量，脸是自己丢的

once again..

i got myself humiliated in front of so many ppl, especially the juniors..

wanting to be cool n able to express myself n make a good presentation.. but things juz turn d other way.. as soon as i opened my mouth.. i realised.. i cant communicate my ideas to all.. mind went blank.. broken language.. hanging words.. still a lot of things that i didn't know..

im so... ...........

a painful experience.. i swear to myself.. i need to improve myself more.. i need to bring myself to a higher lvl.. i cant keep on going like this..

------------------

this is reli a bad week for me.. from bad luck until failures.. it juz keep pouring in..

inner-chaos

...regreting bout' d pass is reli like a poison..

i do wish... i nvr met her..

i do wish... i nvr accept her back last yr..

i do wish... .....

=.=

screwed up 1 midterm n 1 presentation~ oh well. not tat i care bout' it so much... but i reli still dun wan lose those marks juz like that =.= start of week 11. 4 weeks left till finals...
------------
i need start looking for a job now... but.. where to find? n.. how d heck do i write a resume =.=?
------------
loose focus today.. duno wad happen to me.. juz feeling down without any reason. haiz~
i got a lot of catching up to do.. need more luck? i come across this saying of
"good luck = opportunity+preparation". reli cant depend so much on this 'pure-luck'. hmm...
------------
last but not least... S-L-E-E-P. it's late. lol

~__~

blogging at midnite..
-----------
i've done something that even the best student had never done before. fail a subject. muahahaha~ but im going to do wad the best student can do also, scoring in exam. whee~ i noe i can do it~ another midterm to come 2molo~ another next week + assignment due, FYP presentation on the following week, then midterm n presentation on the following x2 week + 2 assignment due. after this will be job hunting time. mostly will try get into financial sector. hmm.. -----------
gonna sleep~
-----------
If you understand others, you are smart.
If you understand yourself, you are illuminated.
If you overcome others, you are powerful.
If you overcome yourself, you have strength.
If you know how to be satisfied, you are rich.
If you can act with vigor, you have a will.
If you don't lose your objectives, you can be long-lasting.
If you die without loss, you are eternal.

Welcome to reality.

~oops~

okay.. i'm not keeping my words.. just feel like blogging again.
---------------
a lot to do for the coming 3 weeks. assignment, mid-terms, presentation, fyp... !@#$%... and final exams. this time it's really FINAL. the end for my degree.
---------------
2mths+ until i finish my study. there's acca in utar pj. need to sign up before 15 june. weekend class. that means half-work-half-study. i think... without considering all other factors...(gf&family).. im gonna go on with this plan. i've big BIG plan for my future.. but it seems stingy in others p.o.v. but if looking from another p.o.v.. benefits everyone. im choosing my future.. i need careful planning.. i don't wanna be part of generation y. it's a new era. All i gotta do is "THINK BIG!"(quoted from you-know-who)

if it wasnt for the book (rich dad, poor dad / cash flow quadrant / etc etc), i dont think im considering this much.. haha.
---------------
stopping for now, gonna do laundry n continue with my work. tata~

~damn busy like hell~

gonna leave this blog for a while.. too busy too think of anything ~.~ tata~

~new look~

changed.. took me 2hrs =P

----------------------------

a lot of stuff in my mind today.. cant concentrate in today 's class~ =.=
duno start from where.. n duno how to start..

~class steamboat gathering~

summarizing in few words..

1)stomach gonna burst

2)crazy

3)laughter

4)fun

5)omg..

having pre-cny party at my hz~ its nice having everyone relaxing~ everyone's been pressured by FYP, assignments & midterms~ uh.. dunno wad to say anymore.. wanna go bath n sleep ~.~

---------------------

time to change the layout i think... gettin bored with this.. but i still like the snow =x gonna change a new one.. only if i have some free time~

~weekly checkin~

hmm... recalling this week c how much have i progressing..
i stopped gaming (finally?) lol. i dun think i reli stop but i really din hav anymore time to be wasted. mostly spending my time retrieving info bout the business world. focusing on forex now.. together with tons of s2pid assignment this sem, as well as midterm.
FYP presentation on the 14th of march. wish me good luck. =x having problems now though... hope can solve it as soon as possible.

~2009~

sometimes i wonder if i have make the wrg decisions..

to think of it.. it's useless to wander around in the past.. wrg decisions being made, only serve as a guide/experience for the future.. so look into the future more?

it's really nice if we can go back into the past n amend all the wrg doings that we made~

-------------------------------

looking at currencies changes now.. edy get behind for few mths.. need more info n learning before i can continue into forex~

------------------------------
class starting 2moro~ still unsure about adv tax class schedule~ haiz~ having 6sub for this sem, including FYP. last semester, gonna be real busy. after this, i have to choose either to further studying, or getting a taste of real world, or half-half..

~calculating..~

shirt x 3 [15+15+(79.90 - 70%)] = 53.97 (round up)=53.95

jeans x 1 = 139 - 80% = 27.80
shoes x 1 = 79.90 -20% = 63.92 (round up) = 63.90

total spending for new year = 145.65 (WTF.. )

1st time spending so much zzz

-----------------

new year's resolutions:

1) last semester, giv all i have to prove im not weak [im really not tat weak, dammit]

2) MUZ spend time looking/reading/learning market movement

3) hope there will be no more time for gaming, need control myself

4) focus/create/think BIG for future