...it's been a while...

it's been a while since i seriously think about my future...

there's so much that i wanted to achieve..

but it seems that everything is out of reach now...

wanting to give up..

but these thoughts keep pouring into my mind..

i need to start making decision before it become too late..

but even though i'm thinking such way..

i know that i'm running away from everything that come to me..

sometimes it's just too hard to know which path is correct and which is not..

and worst of all..

both path will appear to be correct.. 

in the end i will be postponing it again..

hoping that it will solve by itself as time pass by..

sometimes.. this might be the right decision..

but, not always, such way will be the most preferable path..

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..at times, i was wondering if i'm really fated to be alone..

i have friends.. but not the types that are  always around me..

everyone are separated everywhere around this country..

i have a girl that love me so much..

but ironically..

i was trying my very best wanting her to forget about me..

fearing of the unseeable future...

even though i love her..

i have someone else in my heart.. but she too included..

wanting the two of them..

this isn't a good idea..

i'm glad that i told myself and set an iron rule..

never ever step into two relationships at a same time..

it hurts..

..a lot..

...really.

i'm lost.