~all that i wanted for christmas~

all i wan.. is to take back the 3 years that i've wasted in university~
even though i gain a lot during this 3 years..
but also make a lot mistakes..
and also wasted a lot of time..
if only i can wake up tomorrow n find myself in the beginning of my uni years~

~ .... ~

~anonymous~

I look up
At the endless, spreading sky,
At the white clouds,
which make ever-changing patterns in their travels

Why?
Why do you want to make your dreams come true?
Even if I can’t give you a good answer to that,
I believe that someday
The time will come when I’ll be able to see it.
Everyone’s searching for that.

Right now, under the blue sky, amid the shimmering wind,
I softly try to close my eyes
Every one of the fragments of my memories
Guide me to where I should go next.
So from here on, I’ll be able to walk again

Time flows on
Incessantly, but
I want to find the things left behind in my heart,
The important things.

Still
I ran desperately, not knowing
The difference between dreams and desire.
But I believed that someday
The time would come when my arm will be able to reach.
And even now, I still believe firmly in it

Looking down on that blue sky, amidst the shimmering wind,
You are surely watching over me.
Without forgetting yesterday, without fearing tomorrow,
Holding close in my heart the things I was taught by you,
Aiming for the sky—I begin to walk

Under the blue sky, amidst the shimmering wind,
I softly try to close my eyes
Every one of the fragments of my memories
Guide me to where I should go next.
So from here on, I’ll be able to walk again

~on the way to kl, distributing questionnaires~

27/11
i've forgotten bout' something i've hold on to somewhere at a point in my life.. "we live only once.. so live life to the fullest.." dare or not.. want or not.. it's a decision i will have to make in my life.. if i keep on hiding.. i know i will regret..
--
If the law of exchange exist in any forms.. my wish.. i wan to exchange all my happy feelings for my future.. exchanging something i cant afford to lose for something that i wan.. that should be a fair exchange..

~dream~

..i was searching high n low..
..searching for something important..
..even i dont know what im seaching for..
..but i only know 1 thing..
..keep searching..
..search and search..
aimlessly...
until i get waken up by my hp alarm.. the theme "Magical Battle[extended version]" keep sounding..

wads the thing im searching for.. im still clueless.. no direction.. no guide.. nothing.. even after i wake up, the dream still keep pop up in my head.. i need a dream seer..

~bored~

suprisingly.. i found myself nth to do during the weekends.. should b playing cabal or COD4 the whole day.. but im getting bored with it.

13/11, out the whole day distributing questionnaire. im reli useless, not socialable type. Not even dare to open my mouth to speak zzz. I still need my groupmate to speak while trying to encourage those ppl to fill in the questionnaire. still much thing for me to learn. Born in the year of tiger, still a coward. dammit. i sux. As she spoke, i learn a bit from her. Introducing, persuading, speaking~ Thank you very much. The next round im gonna gather all my guts n speak. i dun wanna run away again.

14/11, a dad of my classmate pass away. 1am++ on 13th. visited her. she nvr show any emotions before, but i can feel she's reli sad deep inside her heart. but 1 thing i noe, she's strong. She's reli a strong type. Something that i can learn from her too.

15/11,12am. bring my ethic textbook into room. wanna study, but sleep halfway.. i remember i din even read even half a page.. n left the light on until 5am..

~(-.-~) ~(-.-)~ (~-.-)~

havnt reli fully recovered..
still wondering.. if im not walkin the path that i wan.. where would i go? another unseen path? cant reli tell..
bringing myself to the virtual world everyday.. no satisfaction.. nor happiness.. excited for juz a while, but gone after a few moments.. emotionless..
exactly another 6 1/2mths left..

~watamidoin~

mymindsoblurednow
watthehell
startedtohateeverything
sopain..yet..
i cant think of anything to solve myself..
soshyt
imreallythisuseless?
ineedalight
showmeapath
imstuck
icantgoon
imfakingmyselfeveryday
cantlivealifeliketat

~fail~

feeling down as days past by..
getting worst and worst...
spending most of the time in game world..
trying to get off that feeling..
useless.. dammit..
fail my adv tax..
dont know izit it's a chance for me to proof myself i can be better than this for my last 2 sem..
i realise im getting emotionless..
the smile i carry everyday seems like fake..
i cant think of anything bout my future...

~drifting~

im still lost..
gonna drift along with time..
until i found new hope..
duno when i will find it..
much more relieve now..
but still stressing..
thinking of future yesterday while gazing at the scenery in sg long..
..
dammit..
crying again..

~dear diary~

keep visit the "dear diary" thread in asiasoft forumites recently...
reli lost....
negatives thought keep surging into my mind..
feel like i cant control it..
mayb im thinking the other way round before..
im falling..
cant climbup..
started to hate this life...
im crying deep within me again...

hate it...

~hurt~

i realise..
im crying deep down within me..
im lost..
heart crying.. but tears dried up..
i duno wad to do..
drifting along wif life without destination..
im reli lost...

~let me pass~

3 subjects.. im not sure whether will pass these 3 or not.. but plz... let me pass... if cant.. hope i can make better decision in the future....

God help me..

~o~

i posted this in silvericejournals:

If u stand still
nothing changes
but if u take even a step foward
i have a feeling something will change
&
something good will happen

i wont care anymore if i ever fall down... juz need to get up and move foward.. i know i wont regret this..

ps: woots~ a 60% gain.. still short of $40 to par wif opening balance smooth sail today~

~stressssssssssssssssssssssss~

UBAF3013 ADVANCED ACCOUNTING PRACTICE.
10/09/2008 Wednesday, 1400, 2.5 hours.
Guide me God. im tryin my best to overcome this paper. help me

~anger!!!~

zzz... keep dragging my time.. i dun hav time to study edy~!! u guys are better than me.. wont worry too much.. but im different!! i need more time than anyone else!!! 1 wk, i dun think i edy have time to finis everything!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~omg~

sei lo... exam near still play... feel like manythingstodo... come to think of it,

manythingstodo: 1)study 2)forex 3)cabal 4)comic 5)duno..

dun care... study should be the top priority.. so go study now n stop blogging..

~blured+angry+idunowadtosay~

i hate it... the teachings of the churches... how much is human going to poison it? why clouded the truth? when is it that everyone's going to get together? day by day, month by month, year by year, decade by decade, century by century.... the truth's going to eaten by time... a simple proof will be the bible... somewhere in the book of revelation, it says the content of the bible are not to be changed. there are different versions of bible, which to trust? and can the book of revelation be trusted so that human will follow the teaching of that particular church? I only want the real teachings...
--------------------------
a foundation is built to ensure a trust among humans, but how far is it true that the foundation is always correct, or say, "perfect"? humans changes accordingly as time flows, so does the knowledge that they bring along with them... those knowledge unwanted, were left aside, forgotten.. so they might control humanity? foundation build, human trust, make it hard to change. human, unwanted to change, use foundation as their pillar of support, but, can the foundation be trusted?
----------------------------
what if all the religion in this world is created by someone in the past, whose power is influential at that time, able to make people to believe and trust, and as time pass, it turn into a religion.. By looking at the timeline, if someone is able to change an event in the past, the effect on the future might be big, or might be rather small. But, because of that event, there will be something happenning in the future.. and is recorded down in the history of mankind..as usual, those event will also change with time, forgotten if not beneficial.
--------------------------
....only if someone or somewhere holds the key to the truth...

~RMP proposal brief~

finished... although brief only.. worked whole day till 12.30am.. still need to expand the proposal brief after being approved by supervisor.. left HRM presentation, RMP midterm and RMP proposal presentation, the most important sub in this sem...

added iqtest.dk in links. My IQ=112. (tired & sleepy condition) will try again after i got myself refreshed.

灰色地带

i added 灰色地带 under friends link. She's a 17yrs old girl. She pass away due to cancer(that's what i've heard, mention somewhere in forums..), and wrote a song to her bf. Listen to it while reading her post. Not sure what's the song name, but it's label 最后一次17岁女孩自身创作.

song =>17.mp3 in my imeem.

very, very, very touching...

~busy~

crap.. gonna b busy for this 4 weeks.. until 5 august..this time the schedule is reli packed.. even on sat n sun.. lucky i finis my cabal event 1st... reli crazy.. play till 4am, class at 10am.. even though got midterm 2molo evening -.-...

God~ shine my path for this following weeks~

~spirited away~

Somewhere, a voice calls, in the depths of my heart
May I always be dreaming, the dreams that move my heart
So many tears, of sadness, uncountable through and through
I know on the other side of them, I will find you
Everytime we fall down to the ground,
we look up to the blue sky above
We wake to its blueness,as for the first time
Throught the road is long and lonely
and the end far away, out of sight
I can, with these two arms, embrace the light
As I bid farewell, my heart stops, in tenderness I feel
My silent empty body begins to listen what is real

Somewhere, a voice calls, in the depths of my heart
Keep dreaming your dreams, never let them part
Why speak of all your sadness or painful woes of life
Instead let the same lips sing a gentle song for you
The whispering voice we never want to forget,
in each passing memory, are always there to guide you
When a mirror has been broken, shattered pieces scattered on the ground
Glimpses of new life, reflected all around
Window of beginning, stillness, new light of dawn
Let my silent empty body be filled and reborn
No need to search outside, nor sail across the sea
Cause it is right here shining inside me
I have found a brightness, it is always with me.

----------------------------------------------------
sien ar... study so much.. in d end still the same y cant i do well in my midterm.. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!!!!!

~Time is changing~

I'll take my chances, racing time
Re-writing the book
For all to see
On my own, I can ride the winds of change
To heal a broken time, a broken world

In the dark
A candle is the sun
To light our way back home
It's a dream
It's a hope
That one day we'll be free
Give me strength to open up the door

Only the strong ones
Can stand the test of time
Caught in between these two worlds
Finding our way
The sun will rise
To pierce the sky
When this wonderful world
Starts to shine

This timeless journey, far from home
I gave it all up
To make a change
Sure and strong, I will fight for what is right
To make a better place forever more

Through the door
I feel our freedom burn
With the light of a thousand suns
We will stand
We will fight
And break through these walls
With the strength and fire in our soul

When this wonderful world
Starts to shine.

素敌だね(Sudeki da ne), Final Fantasy X

风送来了言语使

我的心飘游不定

云带来了明天

令我的声音雀跃不已

月亮在镜里摇晃着

令我的心也跟着颤抖

流星落下

我柔情的泪水也跟着洒落

很美好对吧

如果我们俩能够手牵手一起走的话

我好想奔向

你的城镇 你的家 你的怀抱里

将这份心情

寄托在体内

混入夜

做一个梦

一旦风停

言语将成了温柔的梦

一旦云破

天将成了遥远的声音

月亮渗入镜

我的心变得不安

眼里的星星在摇晃

那含不住的泪水也终于洒

轻轻地触碰

你的脸颊

融入晨曦中

做一个梦

~石榴石《穿越时空的少女》主题曲~

奔跑在操场上的你的身影

比天空中的白云还要自由

就连日记中描述你的文字

也仿佛照亮一切的光芒

曾经的我 不懂何谓“喜欢”

但这段一去不复返的时光

告诉了我其含义

将与你共度的时光铭刻在心底

不必刻意回忆也不会把你忘记

即使有一天我喜欢上了别人

你始终是特别的你 重要的你

如同这个季节 将循环不息

初次与你聊天的那段放学时光

自己学会了从不曾有过的笑容

听到你欢笑的声音远远传来

为何我的心会隐隐作痛

曾经的自己是如此地害怕改变

还以为我们可以永远都是朋友

以为世上的事物永远不会终结

在漫长无尽的时空中与你相遇

让我学会了前所未有的坚强
即使某天我抵达了向往的明天

你始终是特别的你 重要的你

如同这个季节 将再次来临

无论何时都不会忘记

自从你如此对我说道的夏天

时光已匆匆流逝

直至今日 我不禁黯然落泪

将与你共度的时光铭刻在心底

不必刻意回忆也不会把你忘记

即使有一天我喜欢上了别人

你始终是特别的你 重要的你

如同这个季节 将循环不息

~another midnight post~

~_~ getting tired lately~ too many things to do... every min is too precious >.< the RMP tutor so wierd.. keep making us go around the bush -.- reli wierd.. even though he always carries a smile on his face, it doesnt seems sincere enuf =.=" ask him question, he smile at u, and giv u a *wink* zzz...
----------
cabal.... i WAN CABAL~~
----------
advance taxation midterm this thursday -.- havnt finis study yet.. i wanna score this sem.. arr!!!
----------
added "yotsuba no clover" to playlist~i still feel this piano piece a nice one~ from "honey and clover" animation, a nice anime to see~ the story basically follows five characters in their love triangles, graduating from college, finding jobs, and learning more about themselves~ my ratings: 9/10

~walao~

msia o2jam close down -.- da heck.. the oni game for me to release stress during exam ~_~ haih~~ but o2jam global coming soon~ gonna try my skill with the rest of the world~ muahahahaha~ http://www.o2jam.info/

~ hmm ~

another 1 of the "early morning" post~ ^o^ cant sleep =.= oni until 3am then i will juz feel sleepy ~_~ dun care la~ even if i got 8am class.. i can always sleep in class i noe this is not a good thing to do -.- HRM midterm 2molo.. still havnt finis memorizing..

.....

finally got 2 of the last 3 music uploaded to imeem... waiting for the last one.. (finally got it up after waiting for 1 hr.. enjoy the music.. one of the best that i ever come across..)
.........

another picture worth to be looking at:-

~friends~

~past~

1 thing that i nvr forget.. forex ~_~ i did lose quite a lot.. but i noe im gonna get it back.. i will stand even if i fall.. july huh? im looking forward to it, i cant depend on my luck forever..
....
my schedule getting packed also.. haih~
.......
i got 47/50 for midterm RMP =.=v 1st time a quite high score in 3 yrs.. lol =.= HRM midterm coming up, i wonder if i can do the same... & 3 midterms for next week, zzzzz
..........
i notice i have a lot to learn.. growing up isnt an easy thing, there's much thing to take care of.. but there's time i will need to take it slowly, and enjoy life... music is my best solution~

Guide me God..

~ URGENT ~

To all my dear frens~

help give "constructive comments and replies" for the post in http://g6ecommerce.blogspot.com/
i need it coz there will be some marks allocated for it. So i reli reli reli reli need u guys help.

Millions of thanks in advance.

~~ARGH~!!! DAMMIT ALL~!!!!~~

i accidently deleted my blog, AHH~!! i go n click delete without further thinking.. zzzz my past post all gone... n i reli cant remember wad i post so shyt..